-Alright, first name is Tom.
-No, no, no! No names! No names! -And he goes on a –First name is blank.
And he goes on a cruise.
He goes on a Caribbean cruise.
-I don't know.
Baaah! But he's married to her! -Oh, Dawson's Creek.
It has to be a real person, Jim! Come on! No, no, I'm gonna pass, I'm gonna pass.
Oh! Okay! Um, rhymeswith Parnold Schporzenegger.
-No rhyming!-Not really a rhyme.
-Another clue, another clue! -Okay he's the governor ofCalifornia, he's the Terminator.
-Those aren't helpful.
-Tom Cruise! -No!-Time! -God!Does anybody read the paper? [ Telephone ringing ] -Dunder Mifflin.
This is Erin.
He's not available right now Uh-huh.
I'll give him the messagewhen he gets up — gets back -Michael had chicken pot piefor lunch.
Actually, let me rephrase that Michael had an entirechicken pot pie for lunch a–Let me be more specific.
Michael ate an entirefamily-sized chicken pot pie for lunch, and then hepromptly fell asleep, so we're all tryingto be very quiet so as to not wake him upbefore 5:00 p.
, which actually should bein about.
[ Whispering ]Okay, I'm gonna go in there and change the computer.
Are you sure you canchange his watch? -[ Whispering ] I can do it.
-[ Whispering ]What do you need from me? [ Normal voice ] Normally, I don't condone leaving early, but I have an appointmentwith the horse doctor.
How that horse became a doctorI don't know.
[ Laughs ] No, I'm kidding.
He's just a regular doctorwho shoots your horse in the headwhen its leg is broken.
-[ Mumbling indistinctly ] [ Car beeps ] -Like clockwork.
[ Laughter ] Aw, no.
-[ Laughs ] -Uh-oh.
-What's so funny? -You had to be there.
-Okay! Geography joke.
[ Laughs ] Oh, m– Oh, wow.
Let's all go home.
See you all tamale.
-See you later!-Bye, Michael! [ Applause ]-Yes! -Yes!-Whoo! -We did it!-[ Vocalizing ] -Yeah! -Michael! Michael! There's an emergencyin the warehouse.
-An accident?Somebody hurt? -No, it.
No, no, no, no, no.
[ Clapping ] -Mike, you a rock star, man.
You are the man! Well done.
-That corporate booty.
-He likes to hit it! -Bring it home now.
And don't forget the newblack man phrase I taught you.
-Pippity poppity, give me the zoppity.
I'll be right outsideif you need me -Alright.
-Yeah, I taught Mikesome new phrases.
Just can't help myself.
-I'm going tothrow you this ball.
When you catch the ball, I want you to say the name of a person very importantto you, somebody really specialwho died, and then I want youto say how they died.
Toss the ball to Pam.
-I had an auntthat I was really close to She was this amazingfemale boxer.
Um, anyway, she was injured ina fight, and she was paralyzed So you can imaginehow upset I was.
when I found outthat she asked her manager to remove her breathing tubeso she could die.
Listen, man, I-I got a problem I think I'm in troublewith the mob.
You usually c-can get outof stuff like this, so I'm turning to you, my friend.
-I'm gonna help youthrough it, alright? -Okay.
-All you're gonna need to.
and then go to.
-Jim? Are you? -.
and then you'll be saved-What? Wait.
I didn't hear a thingyou just said.
and then you'll be saved.
-No! God! I missed the — I missedthe important part again.
Oh, my God.
and you'll be saved.
Please repeatwhat you're saying.
I can't understand you!-A.
-A doctor won't come outto collect a check for $700 — or $500 if we gowith the giant check.
-Which we are.
-And, also, there is nosuch thing as a rabies doctor.
-How about a rabies nurse?-I don't think so.
-You know what, though? I've actually seen adsfor nurses that you can hire by the hour for, uh, parties and bachelor events.
-Look into that.
It's gonna cost a couplehundred bucks and, uh — oh, actually more with tips.
-Oh, hey, I know you.
Very cool you went backand got your degree.
I would like you to acceptthis check.
for $340, made out to “science.
” Make sure that that getsinto the right hands.
-Whoo-hoo! [ Whistling ] -A few years ago, my familywas on a safari in Africa, and, um, my cousin, Mufasa, was, um — he was trampled to deathby a pack of wildebeests.
And, um, we all took itreally hard — all of us kind of in theaudience of what happened.
-Do you want to talkabout it any more? -Oh, it would probably take me like an hour and a halfto tell that whole story.
-There's still one thingwe could do to get Toby fired.
-What's that? -Frame him for using drugs -Frame him?-Yeah.
-I wanted — I wantedto buy some weed.
-[ Whispering indistinctly ] Hey, just hold on one second -I'm not wearing a wire, so.
-Why would you even say that -Hey, that's gonna be $500 -How much?-$500.
[ Drawer opens, bag rustles [ Drawer closes ] -Officers, I reveal to youthe perpetrator.
-Hey, what is this?-Search his things.
-Sir, can you step awayfrom your desk, please? -Why?-Sir, please step awayfrom your desk.
-Hey, what's going on? You don't have my permissionto do this.
-Check this out.
-Oh, God! -That is not mine.
And salad dressing, I think.
-Salad dressing? -Yeah it's a caprese salad There's a little bit of, uh, mozzarella right there.
-Are you kidding me? That's my salad.
-Michael, can I count on you -You cannot.
I have a thing tonight.
-What?-That reminds me.
Um, if the invitationstill stands, Pam and I would loveto have dinner tonight.
I have a thing tonight.
Sh– That stinks.
-You're on the street and one of your gang disses you.
-Oh, my goodness.
So what do you do to get 'emto make it right? -Well, see, um, in the gang world, we use somethingcalled fluffy fingers.
-What is that? -That's when somebodyreally gets in your face.
You know, you juststart ticklin' him.
And he starts tickling you Pretty soon, you laughing and hugging.
Before you know it, you'veforgotten the whole thing.
Y'all can just goto church together and get an ice cream cone.
-I would have neverthought that.
gangs would betickling each other.
-I was trying to throwthis party once, and everyone was overfor the weekend.
And then my Uncle Bernie died, and so me and my best friend we had to pretend like he was alive so that —Wait a second.
That's “Weekend at Bernie's.
Do you thinkthat this is a game? -Well, there is a ball.
-Alright, we're starting over.
Can I help you?-Yes.
I'm from Techstar abouta new phone system for you I was wondering if I could talkto Michael Scott.
He's not in right now.
-Really? -They have new phone systems now that can ring directlyto a salesman, or someone presses starand they go to accounting.
Basically, 95% of my job.
-Michael Scott, manager.
How are you?-Oh, hi.
-There he is.
-Nice to meet you.
Hey, look at that.
-Whew! I can assure you we don'tneed a new system, though.
Happy with ours.
May I help you? -Jimbo.
-Jim? -Ayyyyy! -Ayyyyy! -Ayyyyy!-Ayyyyy! -Ayyyy!-Ayyyy! -Ayyyy!-Ayyyy! -Okay.
I'm, uh — I'm gonna be going.
[ All “Ayyyy!” ] [ Laughter ] -What was that?-That was funny.
-That was funny.
Let's go do it to somebody else.
Ayyyy! Jim, Jim.
Do you know who that is? -No.
-Look at him, look at him.
-Is it you? -[ Chuckles ] I am flattered That's Johnny Depp.
-Where'd you take that?-In my condo complex.
-Oh, my God.
I read in “People” magazinethat he was looking for a two-bedroom condoin Scranton.
-I'm flipping out, man.
Well, you remember my ideafor the fourth “Pirates” movie -Sure, that they should do one -[ British accent ]Hey, Jim, Jim.
Where — Where do I findthe Black Pearl? -Who's that? -[ Normal voice ]Captain Jack Sparrow.
[ British accent ]Captain Jack Sparrow, Jim.
-No, I'm Captain Jack Sparrow.
-Screw you, Halpert.
You know, it's not easygetting excited about stuff.
Remember how you felt when youthought you seen Roger Clemens -At the Yankees game, right.
Well, it wasn't him.
-I had little better reasonto believe that.
Well, you're not right, because Johnny Depp in your condo complex?-I know.
I know! It also explains why the nameon his mailbox was “M Schulman.
” -M Night Schulman? -And now “Michael the Magic”will attempt to escape from extreme bondage.
go! [ Grunts ] [ Grunting ] -Mm.
-[ Grunts ] Aah! -Is everything okay, Michael -Yes.
[ Breathing heavily on P.
[ Laughing on P.
Ha ha ha! -This morning, the phone guy comes in, and he shows Michael that ourphones have a P.
And then he just left.
-Toby Flendersonto the principal's office.
Your mother called, and it appears that you wet the bed again So you have to get hometo wash your sheets because they're yellowand they're wet with your urine.
-[ Sighs ][ Knocking ] -You — And at 6'6″, from the Universityof North Carolina, Jim Halpert -That's pretty funny.
Hey, you know what? Did I drop my, uh.
-What?-What the heck? Is that, uh.
-You find it?-I didn't.
I'll look somewhere else.
-[ Muted ] Would you likefries with that? Please drive around.